Cart before the horse

By Enough Already
Published/Last Modified on Wednesday, October 14, 2009 5:25 AM CDT

I just received yet another invitation to a baby shower for an unmarried couple. As far as I know, they are not planning a wedding.This is the second child for this woman with the second father. to whom she was also not married. It seems the new norm is to have a shower every time a young woman gets pregnant for a different man. There is no more shame in this anymore. I believe this is a very big problem and a contribution to the breakdown in society. I am not a judgemental person, but I think we, as a society, have taken this non-judgemental attitude a little too far for our own good.

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Single mom long time ago wrote on Oct 24, 2009 6:58 AM:

" I was a single mom 10 years back. I did not have a shower nor did I ask anyone to give me a shower! It is not RIGHT! If you can not afford to support your child as a single mother than its really simple. YOU do not need to be having a baby! Do not get me wrong BABIES are always a blessing, but why should I ask my friends and family to support my bad decisons? "

tom wrote on Oct 15, 2009 3:44 PM:

" I'm shocked to hear that President Barack Obama is going to her baby shower and bringing a check and Hawaiian birth certificate. "

Interesting wrote on Oct 15, 2009 9:58 AM:

" I had this happen in my family. We did give a shower and many came to support this couple as it was a couples shower. No, I did not like the circumstances as they are not married. What I am thankful for is that she did not go off and have an abortion and that I am blessed with a beautiful grandson. Many people make mistakes like this and I will not judge anyone. When you do that is when it will face back on your nose. Be thankful for the blessing! "

just me wrote on Oct 15, 2009 8:57 AM:

" I believe people are human and make mistakes but I think some people make it their mission to feed off the government so they don't have to get off their lazy butts and go to work. I think the first mistake the government should help then after the first you are on your own. I see a lot of young healthy girls with 3, 4, and 5 kids getting big checks. They are not responsible adults. "

to birth announcement wrote on Oct 15, 2009 8:28 AM:

" I'm sorry but it is not shoved in your face. If you don't like what your reading you have a choice not to read it. You also have a choice to stay home and not come out of your house. The world is full of people who make mistakes. Not everyone is perfect or makes the right choices in life but that does not mean you can down grade them becuase they don't meet your standards as a human being. "

birth announcements wrote on Oct 14, 2009 3:10 PM:

" Just look at the birth announcements on any given day in the Daily Iberian, or any other newspaper. If I were the newspaper, I wouldn't print the announcement without the name of a mother and father. Too much of this "disgrace" is shoved in our faces. My daughter is not perfect, and it could happen to her, but I'd be dam_ed if she would have a shower that I'd approve of or have it plastered all over the paper. Whatever happened to not making a yourself the but_ of jokes? "

Tom wrote on Oct 14, 2009 3:06 PM:

" To: And your point is.

Makes me feel good that spongers with good paying jobs are able to get part of taxed in the form of WIC. Do your twins get free school lunches? "

Agreed wrote on Oct 14, 2009 3:01 PM:

" It's even more tacky to get an invitation from someone that you haven't seen or talked to in years. That takes nerve, and only goes to show you that they only want the gift. "

Whatever wrote on Oct 14, 2009 1:41 PM:

" I'm sorry but first and foremost if you do not support this young lady then don't go to her shower. i am pregnant with my 2nd child and I am married and my husband and I both work. I have worked since i was 16-If I can get benefits from the gov't to help me and my family then so be it. I pay taxes and the gov't takes enough from my husband and I to cover these expenses. Don't judge until you know the whole story-also, one day you might be in this situation!! "

Enough already wrote on Oct 14, 2009 1:17 PM:

" In response to "and your point is" and "Case by Case". You should always read and understand any post in its entirety before you respond. I did not say anything about WIC. My point is that multiple showers for the same person is tacky and it rewards and incourages irresponsible behavior. "

A Sign Of The Pathetic Times wrote on Oct 14, 2009 10:47 AM:

" I agree that it is deplorable to send out invitations in such a case. But we (the collective we) are just as big of a part of the problem when we buy the gift. And let's be honest, most people who were invited will buy a gift. "

art wrote on Oct 14, 2009 10:23 AM:

" I think you have made a judgement here. Most would agree it's not usually planned this way, but it's under these conditions that probably make your support more valuable then were it a more "traditional" birth. If you don't support them, then don't attend. "

And your point is wrote on Oct 14, 2009 9:37 AM:

" Do you not know that most married mothers to be get the same benefits. So dont knock this young lady for this. Most anyone can get WIC. I did for my twins. Im married and we both have well paid jobs. "

Case by Case wrote on Oct 14, 2009 9:25 AM:

" It is just plain tackyto have multiple showers. I think that 1st time mom's should have a shower... traditionaly she should be married, but these days that just does not happen as often. I was an unmarried mom once, and the support my family and friends showed me was overwhelming. If not for them I would have had a very hard time. I have prospered, married, had other children... I may have been a statistic at one point but you CAN turn your life around. Don't be so swift to judge. "

Laf. wrote on Oct 14, 2009 8:47 AM:

" Very true!!! There are so many babies Momma's that don't even know whom the Daddy is. Pitiful. "

Completely in Agreement wrote on Oct 14, 2009 8:24 AM:

" I am not that old-fashioned, but I also have a problem with showers for unmarried girls/women. We are making big mistakes by glorifying something that is truly going to be a tough road. Some people will say that they need "things". Well, guess what... when I was young, you didn't get a shower. You took whatever hand-me-downs were given and gifts that were given from close family/friends. How can people expect others to be overjoyed when this is another mouth for the government to feed/care for? Believe me, this baby will be cared for: Medicaid, WIC, ADC, etc, etc, etc. "

daisy wrote on Oct 14, 2009 8:11 AM:

" This practice shows very bad judgement and in fact is actually making a mockery of this situation, in any society this practice should not be done, it should not be encuoraged as this situation is becoming a problem in today's society and will definately be a problem in tomorrow's society "

me wrote on Oct 14, 2009 7:48 AM:

" great post, I agree 100%. "

Outraged wrote on Oct 14, 2009 7:14 AM:

" To Enough:
The reason why this is happening is when you have a child and your not married UNCLE SAM pays for the MEDICAL BILLS!!!
Another vote for the Democrats at taxpayers expense!!! And WIC,Aid to Dependent Mothers,ETC,ETC,ETC!!!!
Might as well get a present from every relative and acquaintance while your at it!!!
It's like hitting the JACKPOT!!! "

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